Orlando Weeks

Britain's favourite rocker Orlando Weeks is known for his horrifically copacetic riffs and mentally warping antics on stage, however Orlando has a surprisingly dark personality hidden away in private.
Orlando is an asceticist, he thrives on the sufferring of himself and of others, the others specifically being sheep. Orlando is the keeper of a herd of 40 sheep, recently his farm has been subject to an investigation after he reported trespassers on the farm and police found the disembodied hooves and entrails he had been keeping, hidden from public view. The sheep found in cages on Orlando's property have been reported to have suffered bruising, choking and many of them suffering knife wounds. It is believed that the seemingly innocent Orlando involves them in agonizing satanic torture from which death is the ultimate release.
The sheep found on his property have been taken by the RSPCA although Orlando claims to have never owned any sheep or even to have ventured onto the pens and cages for animals included in his property and always considered them decoration.

5 facts:

1. Computers are made of sand.
2. Leeches are more flammable than alcohol.
3. Taking an enema is like being anally raped by a pineapple.
4. More people are killed by socks than Polar bears every year.
5. The day after my birthday is not my birthday mum!